"Actually it was Islam in Spain that preserved what would later become christian technology and intellectualism after ancient Rome fell. Not only did it preserve historical information but invented and created new technology and science. Keep in mind this was the time when Christian Europe suffered under the Dark Ages and had lost all of that Roman intellectual knowledge and capability. Later, Christian pre-Renaissance scholars went to university in places like Toledo and Catalina in Spain and took back what they learned to Northern and Western Europe. This kicked off the Renaissance. Without the Renaissance there would have been no imperialism, exploration and mapping of the unknown world and establishment of the colonies. Christian Europe owes a huge debt to the Universities and sophisticated societies of the Islamic Empire for its existence up until the fall of the Empire (a huge part is due to the Mongol invasion and destruction of Baghdad; the intellectual and cultural capital of that empire). Baghdad had once been an oasis with forests of palms and water gardens. It never really recovered from that destruction. Many historians believe that it was this destruction that not only caused the empire to fall but for Islamic culture to curl inward and swing from intellectual, sophisticated and open to swing in the direction of hostile toward outsiders, conservative politically, and religious fundamentalist. Just think how different the world may have been if the Mongols had not sacked the Eastern half of the empire. Hmmmm."
http://news.yahoo.com/video/school-history-assignment-causes-controversy-131031588.html
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Maleficent and Racism
I just noticed some of the accents. It seemed that the main "good" characters had English accents.
I think that a British film company was involved in the filming.
The human barbarians to the north were the ones with Scottish accents.
I think I recall the raven having an Irish accent. Cast in the role of servant.
So cultural stereotypes include the Irish as working class, born into servitude. He at least offers Maleficent a bit of wisdom about her own behavior and how she treated those around her.
The Scotts and the English have been fighting each other since the Romans pulled out of the island.
It's a long standing tradition to view them as barbarians. Warlike and stubborn.
Maybe it's reaching but it did strike me as interesting how each different group of characters had shared character traits had shared accents depending on the group.
I think that a British film company was involved in the filming.
The human barbarians to the north were the ones with Scottish accents.
I think I recall the raven having an Irish accent. Cast in the role of servant.
So cultural stereotypes include the Irish as working class, born into servitude. He at least offers Maleficent a bit of wisdom about her own behavior and how she treated those around her.
The Scotts and the English have been fighting each other since the Romans pulled out of the island.
It's a long standing tradition to view them as barbarians. Warlike and stubborn.
Maybe it's reaching but it did strike me as interesting how each different group of characters had shared character traits had shared accents depending on the group.
Maleficent Review
I didn't do a Frozen review. I still don't quite know what to think of it. I appreciate the movement away from romance and true love's kiss. I appreciate the relationship between the sisters and one loving the other enough to risk her life for her. Healing love.
I did not enjoy the tropes. Manic Pixie Dream Girl is worth mentioning.
I went to see Maleficent with Jess in 3D. Amazing film and I think this review says everything that needs to be said:
http://msmagazine.com/blog/2014/06/02/maleficent-finally-disney-gives-us-a-positive-witchmother/
Although I don't agree with the author that she is a misunderstood hero. Yes, she was acting out of trauma and pain, trying to punish the man who had hurt her but she hurt innocent people in the bargain. She did act as the villain even though her growing love for Aurora helped her heal and start to see the ways in which she had callously used people, Diavlo, and hurt people like Aurora herself and her mother.
Her mother was not a major character. She was in only one scene and died off screen. I guess this made it easier for Maleficent to fill that role.
I did not enjoy the tropes. Manic Pixie Dream Girl is worth mentioning.
I went to see Maleficent with Jess in 3D. Amazing film and I think this review says everything that needs to be said:
http://msmagazine.com/blog/2014/06/02/maleficent-finally-disney-gives-us-a-positive-witchmother/
Although I don't agree with the author that she is a misunderstood hero. Yes, she was acting out of trauma and pain, trying to punish the man who had hurt her but she hurt innocent people in the bargain. She did act as the villain even though her growing love for Aurora helped her heal and start to see the ways in which she had callously used people, Diavlo, and hurt people like Aurora herself and her mother.
Her mother was not a major character. She was in only one scene and died off screen. I guess this made it easier for Maleficent to fill that role.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Misogyny leads to Murder
Can't get a date? Shoot up a sorority. I hear it's the new thing.
https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/ucsb-shootings-prompt-massive--yesallwomen-twitter-movement-174906268.html
"This is a societal problem. When a country has around 100 million adult women who all change their behavior in fear of being attacked, (changing bus stops, routes to work, what they wear, avoid eye contact, become invisible online, etc.) then there is a huge problem. Putting a gun into a girl's hand does not fix it. It just creates more dead bodies. Boys need to be raised to not think they are entitled to "hunt" a girl like prey because they think she's pretty. Pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush on her is not okay. It's a huge red flag and no one should be winking at such behavior. Being turned on is not an excuse to attack or punish a girl. Sometimes a girl says no to a "supreme gentleman" because he's a creepy jerk and she wants to get away from him."
https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/ucsb-shootings-prompt-massive--yesallwomen-twitter-movement-174906268.html
"This is a societal problem. When a country has around 100 million adult women who all change their behavior in fear of being attacked, (changing bus stops, routes to work, what they wear, avoid eye contact, become invisible online, etc.) then there is a huge problem. Putting a gun into a girl's hand does not fix it. It just creates more dead bodies. Boys need to be raised to not think they are entitled to "hunt" a girl like prey because they think she's pretty. Pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush on her is not okay. It's a huge red flag and no one should be winking at such behavior. Being turned on is not an excuse to attack or punish a girl. Sometimes a girl says no to a "supreme gentleman" because he's a creepy jerk and she wants to get away from him."
Friday, October 25, 2013
Life in Reverse
I'm going to be prepping over the next couple of months to get my house unpacked so I can actually do stuff in my space. I had a talk with myself this morning and came up with an idea that as I develop it is actually getting more and more cool. It seems completely meant to be and this is the perfect time to get started with it in my life and the time of year.
I often bounce ideas off of my spirit guide. I'm convinced he hangs around and takes part wholly in these "thinking out loud" discussions I have. I tend to get some serious moments of inspiration when I talk to myself and this is partly due to the sparks he sends my way.
So starting in January of 2014 I'm going to be reliving my past 36 years in reverse. 3 years each month. I'll connect these years primary experience with life themes. rituals needs and journaling. The idea is to process and purge my past and then at the end of the year rebirth myself.
I did a schedule draft to try to brainstorm ideas for rituals, working with the elements and major themes to incorporate. The phases of the pagan holidays and the wheel of the year seem to align perfectly to what I am doing. It's uncanny how sweetly they all seem to line up. I spent a good two hours working on the two calendar drafts I have with many moments spent staring into space reliving some stuff.
I intend to blog once a month minimum but will probably blog more. I really need to get back to journaling regularly. These past 9 months have been so bad with all the crap happening while mom was in the hospital and nursing home, with my brother's illegal and abusive behavior, I just shut down and got into angry survival mode. It has not been good financially or stress wise. I've been physically ill from the lack of sleep and constant worry. I've had muscle spasms from driving 12 hours a day to get back to my former town and deal with the crazy people there. My wrists and shoulders still seize up painfully and it's been weeks since the last trip. Now that the house is on the market, I need not worry about travel anymore.
I'm at this point where I can cut off everyone from my past, never go back to that place and again and finally live in the moment, in the present with the family that I have created. I'm hoping the estate is all wrapped up by January first as well. Then I won't have to deal with the lawyer while I'm going through this process. I need all strings cut.
I'd love to blog a couple times a week and I'm sure the incorporation of daily meditation will give me a lot to talk about. I don't intend to sugar coat anything as well. I've got journals going back to age 12 so I'll have accurate recollections as far as my point of view of many things. The only thing I won't have a clear picture of is the actual abuse. I didn't itemize many of the events in my diaries. I don't know if it was denial or what mental process was behind not writing these things down. I wrote about everything else but the parts about being hit, choked, etc. never seemed to make it into the records.
Even my relationships in college and beyond I tended to leave out the codependent and threatening stuff. Often times I would stop journaling all together when things got really intense. I have memories for those but as is often the case, what I remember and what I wrote down tend to diverge as time passes. In some cases I might have to focus on the feelings from around that age period and work with those.
I finally get to age 1 and before birth around Samhain. Perfect match up again. That's when I'll have to start dealing with my adoption, abandonment issues, and purification. I'll use water for that time period. I need fire for the initial purge and severing at the beginning of the year in January.
I'll get a calendar worked up and get it online by the end of the year. I need to consult with some people for objective perspective and help filling in some holes in rituals and themes.
I'll also be moving this process to another blog. This one is for political stuff and career angst.
I know it's hard sticking to one thing for a full twelve months. I've done long rituals before but never anything more than a few days. My grieving ritual for my cat involved a month long process so this will be very much like trying to get a hummingbird to stop flapping and flitting. Not really my strong point.
Oh, well. It's a good time for death and rebirth. Better late than never.
I often bounce ideas off of my spirit guide. I'm convinced he hangs around and takes part wholly in these "thinking out loud" discussions I have. I tend to get some serious moments of inspiration when I talk to myself and this is partly due to the sparks he sends my way.
So starting in January of 2014 I'm going to be reliving my past 36 years in reverse. 3 years each month. I'll connect these years primary experience with life themes. rituals needs and journaling. The idea is to process and purge my past and then at the end of the year rebirth myself.
I did a schedule draft to try to brainstorm ideas for rituals, working with the elements and major themes to incorporate. The phases of the pagan holidays and the wheel of the year seem to align perfectly to what I am doing. It's uncanny how sweetly they all seem to line up. I spent a good two hours working on the two calendar drafts I have with many moments spent staring into space reliving some stuff.
I intend to blog once a month minimum but will probably blog more. I really need to get back to journaling regularly. These past 9 months have been so bad with all the crap happening while mom was in the hospital and nursing home, with my brother's illegal and abusive behavior, I just shut down and got into angry survival mode. It has not been good financially or stress wise. I've been physically ill from the lack of sleep and constant worry. I've had muscle spasms from driving 12 hours a day to get back to my former town and deal with the crazy people there. My wrists and shoulders still seize up painfully and it's been weeks since the last trip. Now that the house is on the market, I need not worry about travel anymore.
I'm at this point where I can cut off everyone from my past, never go back to that place and again and finally live in the moment, in the present with the family that I have created. I'm hoping the estate is all wrapped up by January first as well. Then I won't have to deal with the lawyer while I'm going through this process. I need all strings cut.
I'd love to blog a couple times a week and I'm sure the incorporation of daily meditation will give me a lot to talk about. I don't intend to sugar coat anything as well. I've got journals going back to age 12 so I'll have accurate recollections as far as my point of view of many things. The only thing I won't have a clear picture of is the actual abuse. I didn't itemize many of the events in my diaries. I don't know if it was denial or what mental process was behind not writing these things down. I wrote about everything else but the parts about being hit, choked, etc. never seemed to make it into the records.
Even my relationships in college and beyond I tended to leave out the codependent and threatening stuff. Often times I would stop journaling all together when things got really intense. I have memories for those but as is often the case, what I remember and what I wrote down tend to diverge as time passes. In some cases I might have to focus on the feelings from around that age period and work with those.
I finally get to age 1 and before birth around Samhain. Perfect match up again. That's when I'll have to start dealing with my adoption, abandonment issues, and purification. I'll use water for that time period. I need fire for the initial purge and severing at the beginning of the year in January.
I'll get a calendar worked up and get it online by the end of the year. I need to consult with some people for objective perspective and help filling in some holes in rituals and themes.
I'll also be moving this process to another blog. This one is for political stuff and career angst.
I know it's hard sticking to one thing for a full twelve months. I've done long rituals before but never anything more than a few days. My grieving ritual for my cat involved a month long process so this will be very much like trying to get a hummingbird to stop flapping and flitting. Not really my strong point.
Oh, well. It's a good time for death and rebirth. Better late than never.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
My Birth Experience--Good and Bad
Milk drunk: beautifully written
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-simon/milk-drunk-breastfeeding_b_3494130.html
I've always been a total control freak and more intellectual than earth mother type. I approached pregnancy the same way. My husband and I put off having a baby until we were established career-wise and financially. My work as a teacher never did get stable and I went through three positions until I finally realized I would never have a baby of I waited for tenure. I was 33 when I conceived.
We tried to time it so I wouldn't miss out on another teaching opportunity, but sure enough I didn't conceive right way. Duh! For some reason I thought we'd get it the first month we tried. Part of it was stress. I think I might have skipped an ovulation out of shear stress and rage at my position. I was in a really messed up job where I was being sabotaged and attacked from all sides. Not a great environment to be open to conception and new life.
The moment the classes ended I conceived that week. Funny how that worked. I noticed fatigue immediately, before I had even taken the test. I had been peeing on sticks for three months between ovulation tests and pregnancy tests to keep track of ovulation and periods. I have actually been keeping track of my cycle since I was 18 in various books. I track my cycle, moon phases and mood swings.
There is a correlation between those things.
We read everything we could get our hands on, watched Pregnant in America, Business of Being Born, read Ina May Gaskin, Bradley Method and got the CDs for hypnobirthing. Didn't use the CDs.
That summer in the first trimester my cat was dying of cancer and days after I had moved back home from Elmira, grandma fell down the stairs and ended up in the hospital. About 6 weeks later she died. I guess her body couldn't handle the trauma and just couldn't recover. Frankly, I think it had more to do with the fact that her care kept getting transferred from one doctor to another, and they didn't seem to be checking her chart but just starting her over again on new meds every time. Not sure they know what the hell they are doing at that hospital. One doctor even called her loony right in front of her. She gave him the finger. I loved her. She had such spunk.
My cat died a few weeks later. I had her cremated and did a lot of candle-lighting and praying for her. I really had a hard time with her death. I found in Starhawk's book: Pagan book of Living and Dying, some really good chants for helping the soul pass on. It helped to say them every night and light a candle. I did some yoga to try to relax. I was having some really bad insomnia and rages over the job situation. I couldn't let go of the resentment. Four college degrees and permanent certification and I'm less likely to get a job than a kid fresh out with their BA.
I did a part-time gig that Holiday Season. 12 bucks an hour but I couldn't handle more than 4 hours a day. I wanted to but after 4 hours on my feet I was ready to sleep for four hours. They were really good with the pregnancy though. I could pee when I needed to, drink when I needed to and stretch out if necessary and they were not bitchy at all like some employers. Although that may have been cause I was a 2-month temp.
Then, right after that job I threw my back out while vacuuming. Damn relaxin hormone. I went to a chiropractor whose name I got from my midwife. Dr Christopher was great. Eileen, my midwife, attributed the earlier labor to getting adjusted regularly like I did after the injury. It was so painful. My L vertebrae were so out of alignment one leg was 3.5 cm shorter than the other. His wife also had Eileen as her midwife with their third child. Really cool.
I should probably mention that I started with a regular obstetrician. An older man who seemed really cool. He was really friendly and seemed personable. It was on the third visit with my husband that we mentioned the midwife. The previous week we had visited with Eileen and wanted to know if I was a candidate for home birth. I was completely healthy and everything looked good. We mentioned it to the OB and he about lost his shit. He was pissed you could almost see him shaking. He said stuff like he hoped she knew what she was doing, was educated, and we need to do what's best for us. Then he practically ran out of the office. Woh! That was a close call. Considering what happened with the birth itself I'm glad we had my Amy, my doula, and Eileen.
In January, a close friend died from a drug overdose. Since her cancer in high school she was on and off pain killers and got addicted. She had been clean for 6 months and must have relapsed badly. She didn't make it through. I still have all the letters we mailed each other. We wrote actual letter, not e-mail or texts. It's wonderful to have those things.
As for the early labor, it wasn't that early. I had my daughter about 3 weeks short of my due date. I ate eggs, and venison and whole milk. I did not restrict my eating, just tried to keep it natural and balanced. She was more than ready to come out and fully developed. Usually women with their first babies are late so I think we did well.
I actually went into labor about 4 weeks early. We had just had the baby shower that Sunday, and Monday night was my last Natural Childbirth class with Amy. I was having cramps. Amy made a joke about how I was going to call her later that night in labor. Sure enough, I woke up about 3am Tues. morning with broken waters. Not a lot. It was maybe a couple table spoons. It turns out baby's head was fully descended against the cervix and her skull acted as a plug keeping the fluid in mostly. I called the midwife and Amy that afternoon. No rush to get started. I had an appointment with Eileen Wednesday morning anyway so we just kept that appointment.
There were some contractions but they were really mild. Eileen confirmed my waters had broken Wed and sent me to the store for blue cohosh drops. We could only find black so we tried that. It did help the contractions come on. Hubbie and I went out for dinner at a Mexican place. I was hoping spicy food would help. Wednesday night was bad. Amy came over for a few hours but birth plateaued so she went home in the morning. Thursday night was another bad night and Amy and Eileen were there. Eileen brought a young midwife in training with her. Really nice girl. Yolanda I think her name was. She had a very calm and calming presence.
Again the labor subsided by morning. Friday again things built up really bad. Eileen tried massage to help with the contractions and stimulate things along. It was horrible. It turns out later, I found out I wasn't dilating. My uterus was doing its work but the cervix wasn't opening. I think it may have been psychological. I wasn't ready to let her go even though she was more than ready to come out. By Saturday morning I was done.
At about 4 am we headed to the hospital. Eileen checked me in. Amy had gone home so hubbie called her to meet up there. Eileen then had to leave because another woman was going into labor. I had asked for the epidural at that point so the birth became medicated and she couldn't really maintain her position in that setting. We had talked about it before we left and she said maybe I just needed it to relax. I'll fall asleep and wake up fully dilated. That's kinda what happened actually.
The first anesthesiologist was a cool guy but I desperately wanted to eat so they gave me food then made me wait for a few hours. Fear of puking and suffocating on the puke. They starve you at the hospital. The anesthesiologist on duty who gave me the needle was a dick. It wasn't the same guy. Everyone at the hospital was really cool about my contracts. Whenever they came they would stop talking and wait, check to see if I was okay and out of it, then pick up the conversation thread. This guy talked over me the whole time then gave me this sneer like I was an invalid. "Did you understand what I just said?"
My husband even hollered at him when I was contracting. "She's having a contraction. Dude, she's having a contraction." It didn't seem to penetrate this guy. Wonder where he was loaned from. He got the prick wrong too. My right leg jerked and went cold. He had to take it out and stick it in again. As it turned out, it was still off. My right leg went totally numb but my torso and left leg felt no numbness at all. I actually and glad about that because I was still able to feel the contractions later when I was in full labor and control the progress.
I remember the attendant who interviewed us being shocked when we mentioned 5 days of broken water with no infection or complications. Eileen was doing an internal victory dance. On one of my checkups after the birth she said she had mentioned such a thing to OB and other doctors and no one would listen to her that women could go beyond 12 hours of broken waters without complications. My case totally confirmed that. Hospital policy is to freak out when a woman gets close to 12 hours of broken waters labor.
The catheter sucked and it burned and bothered me horribly. But the epidural seemed to sedate me. I was able to sleep a bit. Nurses came in every hour and checked things. They gave me like 6 bags of hydration. I was so bloated with water it was ridiculous. After noon I woke up with this rush of energy. It felt like my whole body was one big vise-like force. I've never felt suck pressure and I yelled. I need to push now.
Amy had arrived by then and got me focused. She had told me she had never seen anyone so focused during a contraction. The woman she had assisted before me had gone through the whole birth process in 3 hours. Really fast progression. Mine was the exact opposite but she had a hard time reading me. I had the signs of the different stages but I was too calm and focused. It was the yoga and the spellwork I think. I was so used to focused and subtle pressures that I applied that same mindset to birth. Eileen had mentioned later that my distance swimming training when I was younger must have helped as well. It's hard to unlearn those mental habits once they've ingrained themselves.
A female attendant checked my cervix. It sucked. I think a male attendant had done so before her the first time I yelled about needing to push. I remember crying, kinda hysterical. I didn't want his hands in me. Rape-victim trauma mental space. The female attendant came later and checked me again and pushed aside the little lip of cervix left. Oh, that sucked!
Pushing wasn't too bad. Probably because it was non medicated contractions and in my head I was progressing. Catheter was gone and I could still feel the uterus contract. I was able to "ride the wave". I was pushing a little bit too long. The OB who checked me warned that the cervix could swell so Amy adjusted her coaching. She cut me off on 8 instead of letting me push longer. Worked like a charm.
No swelling problems at all.
I think I was pushing for maybe almost 2 hours. I remember my husband snapping at the male attendant, what was he doing? He had put a needle in the IV and gave me something. Apparently I was given pitosin because the baby wasn't descending fast enough for their liking. No consent. This brought on a couple of interventions that if they had just given me another hour I might not have needed. The ice pack on my arm wouldn't have been necessary. Pitosin burns your vein when it goes in. I ended up having an episiotomy because the baby's head got stuck and I wouldn't stretch anymore.
After the cut she slid right out. The cut hurt really bad. It was not just a pinch. I'm squeezing my kegels in memory of it. I remember the attendant joking, "Wow, that epidural didn't do anything for you." If they had given me that extra hour I may have stretched a bit more without the pitosin rushing things. I'd been in labor 5 days with broken waters, another 45 minutes was not going to make that much of a difference.
First words out of the attendant's mouth was "It's a girl."
My husband snapped at her. "Do you have to do that now?"
"We need to know for the paperwork."
"Right now? Aren't there more important things like is she alive and breathing?"
Hubbie and I wanted it to be a surprised so it kinda ruined the fun discovery part.
I remember being in a bit of a daze. I think I might have been in a state of shock. There was nothing but me and my husband. Then all of a sudden there's this living creature that came out of seemingly nowhere. My head was still trying to wrap around it when they put her on my stomach. I was like "Shit. What now?"
One of the nurses stuck around a bit to help the baby latch on. We tried for about 15 minutes. She was having trouble. I think she was just really exhausted.
I got pretty much abandoned by everyone except my hubbie after that. They did bring me a meal and hubbie took off his shirt and kept her close to his chest. The nurse who brought my food turned off the warmer. That wasn't needed. Hubbie is a great source of furnace heat. It felt like a couple of hours before an attendant finally came and helped me clean up and change. I had to use 2 maxi pads, the big puffy kind, to catch the bleeding.
We got moved to a room. Apparently the hospital was getting slammed. It was full moon. Eileen even had 3 births close together. I was 4 weeks early, one was on time and one was 2 weeks late. She usually tries to space everything out but her patients didn't comply this time.
I got some flack at the hospital for breastfeeding. They wanted me on a schedule and if I didn't seem to be feeding the baby enough they would give her formula. We did rooming in so we could spend time with her. I couldn't stop holding her. Hubbie went with her every time they took her to weigh her and draw blood. He was like a hawk. They gave her sugar water at one point claiming it would help numb the pain of a blood draw. All it did was make her really awake, hyper and cranky. Then she crashed and wouldn't wake up for hours.
The food was pathetic. I was so hungry I could have eaten 2 servings or 3 of everything. Tom let me have his a few times and got stuff from the cafeteria. A woman came around with juice boxes and crackers. I ate everything she would give me. Seriously, bring your own food. They don't feed you enough. I had never felt so hungry and thirsty before. OMG
It was so strange trying to get used to just her existence. Diaper changing, feeding and listening to her breathe. I didn't experience that rush they talk about at the birth. It could have been the drugs but it may have just been my mindset. I went into shock rather than euphoria.
My mother-in-law brought in a babycarrier for us. We didn't plan on a hospital birth and so didn't even have a bag packed. Hubbie had to go back to the house to get stuff later that night after the birth. When it was time to leave, the nurse ran all over looking for a wheel chair. One of the women at the desk tried to tell her that they don't do that anymore. Mothers have to walk out. The nurse was like, "I'll find you a chair. That's ridiculous." I totally agree.
I put the baby in a onesie and mittens and covered her up with blankets in the chair. I got wheeled out and we got into the car. It was a bit eerie. Coming home with another person.
We had also gotten another cat from a friend of a friend and they had to do their pecking order determination over the week that we had all those people in and out as well as being gone for 3 days with the birth. Poor Shortcake. She didn't know what was up. She lost her companion Georgia 6 months prior and has to deal with this new cat and a baby all in one week.
We tried co-sleeping. It didn't work. I couldn't sleep with the sound of her breathing. It kept waking me up.
I think worrying kicked up my adrenaline. I kept checking her breathing. We tried for about 2 weeks before I switched things up.
Breastfeeding on demand was tough. Eileen tried to help but we just struggled along and I was getting anxious. I managed to find a lactation consultant. She calmed my fears and told me if I was worried about her getting enough to combine nursing and pumping. She really did talk me down and told me I was doing fine, just keep working at it. My baby might be a little behind the curve because she was born before her due date.
Eileen was the one who introduced me to the nipple shield. That helped. I used a combination of things. I nursed her as much as I could then followed with pumping to get the extra out. I used the nipple shield to help her latch and prevent some of the pain. Eileen warned prolonged use would decrease milk production so I started with the shield nursing her then would remove it to nurse without. It took about 2 months but we managed to nurse without the shield eventually.
Sleeping moved around a lot. Baby started sleeping downstairs on the couch in a little bed we had for her.
It was actually a plastic coated changing pad that attaches to the top of a dresser. We used it as her bed for the first 2 months. Her sleeping patterns changed so much we had to keep adjusting things. She slept with us in her bed for the first week. Then downstairs on the couch in her bed for a few weeks.
My boobs were so sore from trying to nurse on demand that I finally gave her a pacifier. I just couldn't do it anymore. My nipples were purple. Ange mentioned limiting the time to 45 min or less then breaking for 2 hours. This would get her to nurse seriously instead of just sipping for extended periods. I also moved her to her swing. Hubbie rigged it so we could plug it in and not go through so many batteries. That swing was the only thing that could calm her and get her to sleep. She slept in it downstairs with me sleeping on the couch for a few months.
I lived on that couch downstairs for months. Hubbie went back to work after the first 4 weeks and I wanted us to stay downstairs to try to keep the noise away from him so he could sleep and get to work. That was a great fear of his. Falling asleep at work and getting disciplined or fired for it. He managed.
His biggest issue was my emotional instability. The sleep deprivation would send me into crying fits and rages. I remember screaming and slamming the front door over and over again. He ended up using some sick days to give me a break when he could. Those breaks were always limited because of my breasts being a source of food. I either had to pump or be there to feed her, even if I did manage to get out of the house.
I hated taking her out in public too. She would cry and be cranky and it just wasn't worth it. I had more than a little resentment over it.
At one point he was going to run out and get formula at 2 am just to he could feed her and I could get some sleep for a change. I really got upset. The idea of failure just flooded my head and I couldn't stand it.
I went back to work, substitute teaching, part time in June when she was 4 months roughly. Figured out the pumping routine at the school. They were good. They had a privacy room for pumping and would work with my schedule to get more than one break for pumping according to my needs. Really advanced attitude considering federal guidelines are still being drawn up now to support nursing mothers.
We had to get over the traveling issues because we had to travel quite a bit that spring. My uncle died in march. I visited my mom and dad in April and then dad died in July. I had to breastfeed in the car and at mom's house. She let us have her room those times and bought a traveling cradle for her then later a crib.
Mom died this past April as well. She went into the hospital before Christmas 2012 and spent the last few months at a nursing home. We brought baby up to see her as much as possible. I'll have to write about that bullshit surrounding my brother later. Total nightmare. Still not resolved as the estate is still being worked out.
I managed to nurse for a year and a half. At one point she was losing weight and it totally was the book's fault. What to Expect When You're Expecting specifically said that you should not nurse and feed puree foods at the same time as it was too many calories. It specifically said to "replace" a nursing with a feeding of puree food. So baby wasn't getting the milk fat she needed and started to lose weight. We were down to 4-5 feedings a day not including puree. She was really skinny by 12 months. I started giving her whole cow's milk as soon as we could to compensate. My milk was drying up after that whole mis-information.
I hate that book and threw it out. I was so pissed.
She's 2 and a half at this point. She's strong and healthy and will eat anything. Loves tomatoes. No allergies or gastric issues. Good sturdy genetic stock. I cover the nutrition thing in my previous blog post.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-simon/milk-drunk-breastfeeding_b_3494130.html
I've always been a total control freak and more intellectual than earth mother type. I approached pregnancy the same way. My husband and I put off having a baby until we were established career-wise and financially. My work as a teacher never did get stable and I went through three positions until I finally realized I would never have a baby of I waited for tenure. I was 33 when I conceived.
We tried to time it so I wouldn't miss out on another teaching opportunity, but sure enough I didn't conceive right way. Duh! For some reason I thought we'd get it the first month we tried. Part of it was stress. I think I might have skipped an ovulation out of shear stress and rage at my position. I was in a really messed up job where I was being sabotaged and attacked from all sides. Not a great environment to be open to conception and new life.
The moment the classes ended I conceived that week. Funny how that worked. I noticed fatigue immediately, before I had even taken the test. I had been peeing on sticks for three months between ovulation tests and pregnancy tests to keep track of ovulation and periods. I have actually been keeping track of my cycle since I was 18 in various books. I track my cycle, moon phases and mood swings.
There is a correlation between those things.
We read everything we could get our hands on, watched Pregnant in America, Business of Being Born, read Ina May Gaskin, Bradley Method and got the CDs for hypnobirthing. Didn't use the CDs.
That summer in the first trimester my cat was dying of cancer and days after I had moved back home from Elmira, grandma fell down the stairs and ended up in the hospital. About 6 weeks later she died. I guess her body couldn't handle the trauma and just couldn't recover. Frankly, I think it had more to do with the fact that her care kept getting transferred from one doctor to another, and they didn't seem to be checking her chart but just starting her over again on new meds every time. Not sure they know what the hell they are doing at that hospital. One doctor even called her loony right in front of her. She gave him the finger. I loved her. She had such spunk.
My cat died a few weeks later. I had her cremated and did a lot of candle-lighting and praying for her. I really had a hard time with her death. I found in Starhawk's book: Pagan book of Living and Dying, some really good chants for helping the soul pass on. It helped to say them every night and light a candle. I did some yoga to try to relax. I was having some really bad insomnia and rages over the job situation. I couldn't let go of the resentment. Four college degrees and permanent certification and I'm less likely to get a job than a kid fresh out with their BA.
I did a part-time gig that Holiday Season. 12 bucks an hour but I couldn't handle more than 4 hours a day. I wanted to but after 4 hours on my feet I was ready to sleep for four hours. They were really good with the pregnancy though. I could pee when I needed to, drink when I needed to and stretch out if necessary and they were not bitchy at all like some employers. Although that may have been cause I was a 2-month temp.
Then, right after that job I threw my back out while vacuuming. Damn relaxin hormone. I went to a chiropractor whose name I got from my midwife. Dr Christopher was great. Eileen, my midwife, attributed the earlier labor to getting adjusted regularly like I did after the injury. It was so painful. My L vertebrae were so out of alignment one leg was 3.5 cm shorter than the other. His wife also had Eileen as her midwife with their third child. Really cool.
I should probably mention that I started with a regular obstetrician. An older man who seemed really cool. He was really friendly and seemed personable. It was on the third visit with my husband that we mentioned the midwife. The previous week we had visited with Eileen and wanted to know if I was a candidate for home birth. I was completely healthy and everything looked good. We mentioned it to the OB and he about lost his shit. He was pissed you could almost see him shaking. He said stuff like he hoped she knew what she was doing, was educated, and we need to do what's best for us. Then he practically ran out of the office. Woh! That was a close call. Considering what happened with the birth itself I'm glad we had my Amy, my doula, and Eileen.
In January, a close friend died from a drug overdose. Since her cancer in high school she was on and off pain killers and got addicted. She had been clean for 6 months and must have relapsed badly. She didn't make it through. I still have all the letters we mailed each other. We wrote actual letter, not e-mail or texts. It's wonderful to have those things.
As for the early labor, it wasn't that early. I had my daughter about 3 weeks short of my due date. I ate eggs, and venison and whole milk. I did not restrict my eating, just tried to keep it natural and balanced. She was more than ready to come out and fully developed. Usually women with their first babies are late so I think we did well.
I actually went into labor about 4 weeks early. We had just had the baby shower that Sunday, and Monday night was my last Natural Childbirth class with Amy. I was having cramps. Amy made a joke about how I was going to call her later that night in labor. Sure enough, I woke up about 3am Tues. morning with broken waters. Not a lot. It was maybe a couple table spoons. It turns out baby's head was fully descended against the cervix and her skull acted as a plug keeping the fluid in mostly. I called the midwife and Amy that afternoon. No rush to get started. I had an appointment with Eileen Wednesday morning anyway so we just kept that appointment.
There were some contractions but they were really mild. Eileen confirmed my waters had broken Wed and sent me to the store for blue cohosh drops. We could only find black so we tried that. It did help the contractions come on. Hubbie and I went out for dinner at a Mexican place. I was hoping spicy food would help. Wednesday night was bad. Amy came over for a few hours but birth plateaued so she went home in the morning. Thursday night was another bad night and Amy and Eileen were there. Eileen brought a young midwife in training with her. Really nice girl. Yolanda I think her name was. She had a very calm and calming presence.
Again the labor subsided by morning. Friday again things built up really bad. Eileen tried massage to help with the contractions and stimulate things along. It was horrible. It turns out later, I found out I wasn't dilating. My uterus was doing its work but the cervix wasn't opening. I think it may have been psychological. I wasn't ready to let her go even though she was more than ready to come out. By Saturday morning I was done.
At about 4 am we headed to the hospital. Eileen checked me in. Amy had gone home so hubbie called her to meet up there. Eileen then had to leave because another woman was going into labor. I had asked for the epidural at that point so the birth became medicated and she couldn't really maintain her position in that setting. We had talked about it before we left and she said maybe I just needed it to relax. I'll fall asleep and wake up fully dilated. That's kinda what happened actually.
The first anesthesiologist was a cool guy but I desperately wanted to eat so they gave me food then made me wait for a few hours. Fear of puking and suffocating on the puke. They starve you at the hospital. The anesthesiologist on duty who gave me the needle was a dick. It wasn't the same guy. Everyone at the hospital was really cool about my contracts. Whenever they came they would stop talking and wait, check to see if I was okay and out of it, then pick up the conversation thread. This guy talked over me the whole time then gave me this sneer like I was an invalid. "Did you understand what I just said?"
My husband even hollered at him when I was contracting. "She's having a contraction. Dude, she's having a contraction." It didn't seem to penetrate this guy. Wonder where he was loaned from. He got the prick wrong too. My right leg jerked and went cold. He had to take it out and stick it in again. As it turned out, it was still off. My right leg went totally numb but my torso and left leg felt no numbness at all. I actually and glad about that because I was still able to feel the contractions later when I was in full labor and control the progress.
I remember the attendant who interviewed us being shocked when we mentioned 5 days of broken water with no infection or complications. Eileen was doing an internal victory dance. On one of my checkups after the birth she said she had mentioned such a thing to OB and other doctors and no one would listen to her that women could go beyond 12 hours of broken waters without complications. My case totally confirmed that. Hospital policy is to freak out when a woman gets close to 12 hours of broken waters labor.
The catheter sucked and it burned and bothered me horribly. But the epidural seemed to sedate me. I was able to sleep a bit. Nurses came in every hour and checked things. They gave me like 6 bags of hydration. I was so bloated with water it was ridiculous. After noon I woke up with this rush of energy. It felt like my whole body was one big vise-like force. I've never felt suck pressure and I yelled. I need to push now.
Amy had arrived by then and got me focused. She had told me she had never seen anyone so focused during a contraction. The woman she had assisted before me had gone through the whole birth process in 3 hours. Really fast progression. Mine was the exact opposite but she had a hard time reading me. I had the signs of the different stages but I was too calm and focused. It was the yoga and the spellwork I think. I was so used to focused and subtle pressures that I applied that same mindset to birth. Eileen had mentioned later that my distance swimming training when I was younger must have helped as well. It's hard to unlearn those mental habits once they've ingrained themselves.
A female attendant checked my cervix. It sucked. I think a male attendant had done so before her the first time I yelled about needing to push. I remember crying, kinda hysterical. I didn't want his hands in me. Rape-victim trauma mental space. The female attendant came later and checked me again and pushed aside the little lip of cervix left. Oh, that sucked!
Pushing wasn't too bad. Probably because it was non medicated contractions and in my head I was progressing. Catheter was gone and I could still feel the uterus contract. I was able to "ride the wave". I was pushing a little bit too long. The OB who checked me warned that the cervix could swell so Amy adjusted her coaching. She cut me off on 8 instead of letting me push longer. Worked like a charm.
No swelling problems at all.
I think I was pushing for maybe almost 2 hours. I remember my husband snapping at the male attendant, what was he doing? He had put a needle in the IV and gave me something. Apparently I was given pitosin because the baby wasn't descending fast enough for their liking. No consent. This brought on a couple of interventions that if they had just given me another hour I might not have needed. The ice pack on my arm wouldn't have been necessary. Pitosin burns your vein when it goes in. I ended up having an episiotomy because the baby's head got stuck and I wouldn't stretch anymore.
After the cut she slid right out. The cut hurt really bad. It was not just a pinch. I'm squeezing my kegels in memory of it. I remember the attendant joking, "Wow, that epidural didn't do anything for you." If they had given me that extra hour I may have stretched a bit more without the pitosin rushing things. I'd been in labor 5 days with broken waters, another 45 minutes was not going to make that much of a difference.
First words out of the attendant's mouth was "It's a girl."
My husband snapped at her. "Do you have to do that now?"
"We need to know for the paperwork."
"Right now? Aren't there more important things like is she alive and breathing?"
Hubbie and I wanted it to be a surprised so it kinda ruined the fun discovery part.
I remember being in a bit of a daze. I think I might have been in a state of shock. There was nothing but me and my husband. Then all of a sudden there's this living creature that came out of seemingly nowhere. My head was still trying to wrap around it when they put her on my stomach. I was like "Shit. What now?"
One of the nurses stuck around a bit to help the baby latch on. We tried for about 15 minutes. She was having trouble. I think she was just really exhausted.
I got pretty much abandoned by everyone except my hubbie after that. They did bring me a meal and hubbie took off his shirt and kept her close to his chest. The nurse who brought my food turned off the warmer. That wasn't needed. Hubbie is a great source of furnace heat. It felt like a couple of hours before an attendant finally came and helped me clean up and change. I had to use 2 maxi pads, the big puffy kind, to catch the bleeding.
We got moved to a room. Apparently the hospital was getting slammed. It was full moon. Eileen even had 3 births close together. I was 4 weeks early, one was on time and one was 2 weeks late. She usually tries to space everything out but her patients didn't comply this time.
I got some flack at the hospital for breastfeeding. They wanted me on a schedule and if I didn't seem to be feeding the baby enough they would give her formula. We did rooming in so we could spend time with her. I couldn't stop holding her. Hubbie went with her every time they took her to weigh her and draw blood. He was like a hawk. They gave her sugar water at one point claiming it would help numb the pain of a blood draw. All it did was make her really awake, hyper and cranky. Then she crashed and wouldn't wake up for hours.
The food was pathetic. I was so hungry I could have eaten 2 servings or 3 of everything. Tom let me have his a few times and got stuff from the cafeteria. A woman came around with juice boxes and crackers. I ate everything she would give me. Seriously, bring your own food. They don't feed you enough. I had never felt so hungry and thirsty before. OMG
It was so strange trying to get used to just her existence. Diaper changing, feeding and listening to her breathe. I didn't experience that rush they talk about at the birth. It could have been the drugs but it may have just been my mindset. I went into shock rather than euphoria.
My mother-in-law brought in a babycarrier for us. We didn't plan on a hospital birth and so didn't even have a bag packed. Hubbie had to go back to the house to get stuff later that night after the birth. When it was time to leave, the nurse ran all over looking for a wheel chair. One of the women at the desk tried to tell her that they don't do that anymore. Mothers have to walk out. The nurse was like, "I'll find you a chair. That's ridiculous." I totally agree.
I put the baby in a onesie and mittens and covered her up with blankets in the chair. I got wheeled out and we got into the car. It was a bit eerie. Coming home with another person.
We had also gotten another cat from a friend of a friend and they had to do their pecking order determination over the week that we had all those people in and out as well as being gone for 3 days with the birth. Poor Shortcake. She didn't know what was up. She lost her companion Georgia 6 months prior and has to deal with this new cat and a baby all in one week.
We tried co-sleeping. It didn't work. I couldn't sleep with the sound of her breathing. It kept waking me up.
I think worrying kicked up my adrenaline. I kept checking her breathing. We tried for about 2 weeks before I switched things up.
Breastfeeding on demand was tough. Eileen tried to help but we just struggled along and I was getting anxious. I managed to find a lactation consultant. She calmed my fears and told me if I was worried about her getting enough to combine nursing and pumping. She really did talk me down and told me I was doing fine, just keep working at it. My baby might be a little behind the curve because she was born before her due date.
Eileen was the one who introduced me to the nipple shield. That helped. I used a combination of things. I nursed her as much as I could then followed with pumping to get the extra out. I used the nipple shield to help her latch and prevent some of the pain. Eileen warned prolonged use would decrease milk production so I started with the shield nursing her then would remove it to nurse without. It took about 2 months but we managed to nurse without the shield eventually.
Sleeping moved around a lot. Baby started sleeping downstairs on the couch in a little bed we had for her.
It was actually a plastic coated changing pad that attaches to the top of a dresser. We used it as her bed for the first 2 months. Her sleeping patterns changed so much we had to keep adjusting things. She slept with us in her bed for the first week. Then downstairs on the couch in her bed for a few weeks.
My boobs were so sore from trying to nurse on demand that I finally gave her a pacifier. I just couldn't do it anymore. My nipples were purple. Ange mentioned limiting the time to 45 min or less then breaking for 2 hours. This would get her to nurse seriously instead of just sipping for extended periods. I also moved her to her swing. Hubbie rigged it so we could plug it in and not go through so many batteries. That swing was the only thing that could calm her and get her to sleep. She slept in it downstairs with me sleeping on the couch for a few months.
I lived on that couch downstairs for months. Hubbie went back to work after the first 4 weeks and I wanted us to stay downstairs to try to keep the noise away from him so he could sleep and get to work. That was a great fear of his. Falling asleep at work and getting disciplined or fired for it. He managed.
His biggest issue was my emotional instability. The sleep deprivation would send me into crying fits and rages. I remember screaming and slamming the front door over and over again. He ended up using some sick days to give me a break when he could. Those breaks were always limited because of my breasts being a source of food. I either had to pump or be there to feed her, even if I did manage to get out of the house.
I hated taking her out in public too. She would cry and be cranky and it just wasn't worth it. I had more than a little resentment over it.
At one point he was going to run out and get formula at 2 am just to he could feed her and I could get some sleep for a change. I really got upset. The idea of failure just flooded my head and I couldn't stand it.
I went back to work, substitute teaching, part time in June when she was 4 months roughly. Figured out the pumping routine at the school. They were good. They had a privacy room for pumping and would work with my schedule to get more than one break for pumping according to my needs. Really advanced attitude considering federal guidelines are still being drawn up now to support nursing mothers.
We had to get over the traveling issues because we had to travel quite a bit that spring. My uncle died in march. I visited my mom and dad in April and then dad died in July. I had to breastfeed in the car and at mom's house. She let us have her room those times and bought a traveling cradle for her then later a crib.
Mom died this past April as well. She went into the hospital before Christmas 2012 and spent the last few months at a nursing home. We brought baby up to see her as much as possible. I'll have to write about that bullshit surrounding my brother later. Total nightmare. Still not resolved as the estate is still being worked out.
I managed to nurse for a year and a half. At one point she was losing weight and it totally was the book's fault. What to Expect When You're Expecting specifically said that you should not nurse and feed puree foods at the same time as it was too many calories. It specifically said to "replace" a nursing with a feeding of puree food. So baby wasn't getting the milk fat she needed and started to lose weight. We were down to 4-5 feedings a day not including puree. She was really skinny by 12 months. I started giving her whole cow's milk as soon as we could to compensate. My milk was drying up after that whole mis-information.
I hate that book and threw it out. I was so pissed.
She's 2 and a half at this point. She's strong and healthy and will eat anything. Loves tomatoes. No allergies or gastric issues. Good sturdy genetic stock. I cover the nutrition thing in my previous blog post.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Religion and the Root of Evil
Based on a previous post made on MySpace years ago in response to Christopher Hitchins. Myspace has since done away with the old blogs and site accessibility. (Sarcasm here) But if you send in a request you can get access in "a few short months" which in internet time is enough of an age to allow for the full evolution of a new species and its subsequent extinction. (The old post was waaaay shorter anyway)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Hitchens
It's common among atheist groups to say "religion is the root of all evil". As proof they will often cite holy wars and terrorist attacks seemingly motivated by religion. These religious beliefs are what motivated people to kill, destroy towns, cities, and attack little girls on their way to school.And I agree there are some crazy people wielding religion as a weapon and using it to justify their sadism. I also think this is a smoke screen and it's political bull that's the real motivation. The need to control others is strong in some people.
Perfect examples can be found anywhere around the globe. The gassing of Kurd civilians by Saddam Hussein; the killing of Shi 'ites and destruction of temples not adherent to his religious beliefs.
Also in the middle east, the continued attacks on Israel due to the hatred of Jews. They live surrounded by Muslims whose holy book declare Jews as villains. The book calls for their extermination. My hubbie and I had some conversations around this a few years ago when he studied the Koran. He basically summed it up (the English translation) "God is Great. We hate Jews and this is why."
We also have the Afghanistan Taliban whose religious beliefs regarding the control of women is infamous with torture, sadism, and imprisonment. A woman was raped to death in a soccer stadium as thousands were forced to watch for accidentally showing her ankle while standing up. Her escort had been killed at the picnic they had been having together for defending her from the soldiers. Women and children starved to death because they could not leave their homes to get food with no male relatives left alive to escort them. Little girls are still being attacked for trying to go to school.
Then of course, there are the ethnic wars of Africa, the oppression of native people in Australia and the Americas. All of these oppressions and attempted genocides have a religious component, an ethnic superiority flair.
In order to call something the "root of all evil" you have to break it down to it's lowest common denominator. Asking How and Why are two great ways to get to the lowest number on the multiplication tree of philosophical and psychological thought.
So let's do that: Why does religion exist? How did it become such an important part of how a person defines themself?
Ancient societies have a few factors that archeologists look for to determine when they have become a human society and ceased to be nomadic homo erectus type animals. One is burial. They begin to bury their dead.
Often these burials involved painting the body, dressing the body and burying them with something of significance like a weapon or a necklace. Other factors include, cultivating seeds, food preservation, domesticating animals, and ritual. Ancient societies begin to notice patterns in nature. They begin to celebrate those patterns and sometimes come to believe that they must enact ritual to support that pattern, like the rising of the sun after the longest night of the year, or dancing around a fire and wearing special items to bring on a great hunt.
From the development of an awareness of these patterns they begin to develop a sense of the future. They can predict that the sun will rise every day, the moon will follow a pattern of phases every 28 days, the seasons will follow a cycle. They plant, hunt and preserve food to survive these cycles. Eventually they are going to start asking questions about what happens after death and what force controls all these cycles? This is where the belief in spirits, the Gods and Goddesses of the old worlds come from.
Burial practices follow these beliefs. In order to conquer the fear of death, death must not be seen as the end. Ideas of an after life, or of a person somehow coming back after death begin to develop. We see this in burials where all the earthly pleasures and needs are taken care of. For example in ancient Egypt we see servants, concubines, food, musical instruments, weapons, clothes, etc, being left with the mummified pharoah. Spells are carved into the walls, the sarcophagus, and even painted into the linens wrapped around the body. These spells protect the body, the soul and give instructions for the spirit on his quest to the other side.
http://www.sextimeandpower.com/ (Great Book about women's menstrual cycle and pregnancy shaping society and even men's attitudes toward relationships)
http://books.google.com/books/about/The_Goddesses_and_Gods_of_Old_Europe_650.html?id=zKFFOoPlyjIC (Another classic powerful book on the archeological evidence of matriarchal societies and the transition to patriarchal dominance)
So religion came into existence to explain why the world is as it is. Religions explain the creation of the world, man's place in it, and give man a sense of partnership with the forces that shape the world and his own survival. Ritual is a way for man to try to manipulate nature. It became so essential to mankind because it defines one's tribe. A tribe has the same rituals, manner of dress, modes of speech, cyclical patterns and behaviors governed by those patterns. You know who you are by the tribe you ally yourself to. You know who doesn't belong in the same way. Besides age and sex, this element became part of the earliest sense of self-definition of a human being: name, age, gender, tribal affiliation.
Why do different societies war with each other?
When societies came in contact with each other they found their rituals, languages, clothing, and names of gods were not the same. As a result of this contact with each other they became nervous. This is where the crux of the matter of our problem evolves. When these people confronted differences in others, they couldn't predict the behavior of these other groups. They were too different. From this inability to know what the other would do in any situation, came fear of each other. Specifically they feared violence, death, and theft of resources.
If the two societies that are so different could not agree on a set of rules to keep their relationship friendly, then war would often follow. That fear would lead to violence. I guess they may have thought that if they struck first they could save themselves, and this other evil group would be destroyed so any other society they might have come across would be spared as well. We see this in some modern propaganda where the other group is labeled immoral, evil and set on the destruction of our pure and moral society. Religious fanatics often use this argument against atheists and anyone who supports free will and a secular legal system.
How did social laws evolve? Why are laws different everywhere?
The friendly group would lay down laws to govern how people treat each other. These laws became the social contract of the society. In some cases severe punishments were visited upon those that acted in anti-social ways. What constitutes anti-social was highly relative to the society in question.
For some societies like Greece, homosexuality was tolerated and even endorsed. Some philosophers believed wasting one's seed on a woman was deadly to a man's sanity. A waste by itself at best. Other societies would punish homosexuality with torture and/or death. Some societies didn't even have a word for such a thing, it had not been publicly brought up.
The Chosen Ones?
The success of a society over another was often called God's Gift or Favor. It was believed that their god was stronger than the other group's and therefore enabled the victory. In the past few millenia, groups have claimed that the other god doesn't even exist, or is actually an evil deity or demon. Those people have been misled by evil and must be rehabilitated or converted to save their souls.
The truth to why some societies are successful and generate invention, technology and massive food production is actually tied up in geographic luck. It has nothing to do with gods or even necessarily intelligence. If you happen to be born in an area of the world with large spaces of good farm land that can support thousands of varieties of crops, animals and insect life, it's only a matter of time before you domesticate those resources and a small number of people become food producers while others have the luxury of free time to pursue art, invention, music, government, academia and eventually exploration and conquest.
Western Europe was one such perfect breeding ground for such success. The area now known as China was another fantastic place for agriculture, plant and animal diversity and thus invention and art. Really good book on this: Guns, Germs and Steel
http://www.pbs.org/gunsgermssteel/ (There's a book and a documentary)
(Summary so far: Humans developed religion to explain cycles of nature, to help them try to manipulate nature for their benefit and eventually created social roles around these beliefs. Not to mention to dispell fear of death. When they came across people who were different they attacked out of fear or created strict rules governing behavior in order to get control of their fear of each other. Fear leads to violence and destruction.
Eventually the cart was placed before the horse. The same beliefs that unified a society enabling working together so they could evolve and invent and explore other worlds, became the justification for their success. Actually it was luck combined with intelligence that created powerful societies, not god.)
How does religion affect us today? Why is it still such a sensitive issue?
So what we have now is religion as the remnant of an old tradition that enabled us as a group to identify members of our tribe. Tribal members, people who we take for granted are safe and follow the same set of rules, are accepted. Outsiders are still pressured to convert or are attacked. We use this same mentality toward politics, education, even simple interest groups we are involved in.
Human beings value their own lives and the lives of those they love. As such they seek communities where they feel safe. They define that feeling of safety as groups of people they have stuff in common with. Laws support that sense of safety, and historically this has included segregation in America. We are still segregated economically. In some places, like Northern Ireland, segregation is still used to try to prevent violence. When the laws fail or are not equally enforced, people become afraid and vigilantism rocks the community. People start to hide, leave, and economies and governments fall often into war. War is what kills, encourages others to be aggressive and destructive and to annihilate the lives of the "others".
So the root of all evil is not religion. Religion is a manifestation of a human being's emotional need to belong to a group where they feel safe. It's the fear that motivated that need to belong that brings about violence. Fear of difference, fear of unpredictable behavior from the foreign tribe, fear that the different tribe is going to take your stuff including your life, is what brings about war. War is a violent attempt to control the behavior of others. Do as we say or your life is forfeit.
Control of others motivated by fear of differences is the rallying sentiment behind abortion clinic bombings, terrorist attacks, genocide, persecutions of all types and women in particular. For some reason men and even women are terrified of other women expressing themselves sexually and controlling their reproduction. I really don't know what is bug up their butt. All I can say is maybe the answer is in The Handmaid's Tale or some other female exploration of dystopic societies in fiction.
So Fear is the root of all evil. It leads to aggression, an attempt to control other's behaviors in order to make them predictable and thus safe. Or dead. Dead works too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Hitchens
It's common among atheist groups to say "religion is the root of all evil". As proof they will often cite holy wars and terrorist attacks seemingly motivated by religion. These religious beliefs are what motivated people to kill, destroy towns, cities, and attack little girls on their way to school.And I agree there are some crazy people wielding religion as a weapon and using it to justify their sadism. I also think this is a smoke screen and it's political bull that's the real motivation. The need to control others is strong in some people.
Perfect examples can be found anywhere around the globe. The gassing of Kurd civilians by Saddam Hussein; the killing of Shi 'ites and destruction of temples not adherent to his religious beliefs.
Also in the middle east, the continued attacks on Israel due to the hatred of Jews. They live surrounded by Muslims whose holy book declare Jews as villains. The book calls for their extermination. My hubbie and I had some conversations around this a few years ago when he studied the Koran. He basically summed it up (the English translation) "God is Great. We hate Jews and this is why."
We also have the Afghanistan Taliban whose religious beliefs regarding the control of women is infamous with torture, sadism, and imprisonment. A woman was raped to death in a soccer stadium as thousands were forced to watch for accidentally showing her ankle while standing up. Her escort had been killed at the picnic they had been having together for defending her from the soldiers. Women and children starved to death because they could not leave their homes to get food with no male relatives left alive to escort them. Little girls are still being attacked for trying to go to school.
Then of course, there are the ethnic wars of Africa, the oppression of native people in Australia and the Americas. All of these oppressions and attempted genocides have a religious component, an ethnic superiority flair.
In order to call something the "root of all evil" you have to break it down to it's lowest common denominator. Asking How and Why are two great ways to get to the lowest number on the multiplication tree of philosophical and psychological thought.
So let's do that: Why does religion exist? How did it become such an important part of how a person defines themself?
Ancient societies have a few factors that archeologists look for to determine when they have become a human society and ceased to be nomadic homo erectus type animals. One is burial. They begin to bury their dead.
Often these burials involved painting the body, dressing the body and burying them with something of significance like a weapon or a necklace. Other factors include, cultivating seeds, food preservation, domesticating animals, and ritual. Ancient societies begin to notice patterns in nature. They begin to celebrate those patterns and sometimes come to believe that they must enact ritual to support that pattern, like the rising of the sun after the longest night of the year, or dancing around a fire and wearing special items to bring on a great hunt.
From the development of an awareness of these patterns they begin to develop a sense of the future. They can predict that the sun will rise every day, the moon will follow a pattern of phases every 28 days, the seasons will follow a cycle. They plant, hunt and preserve food to survive these cycles. Eventually they are going to start asking questions about what happens after death and what force controls all these cycles? This is where the belief in spirits, the Gods and Goddesses of the old worlds come from.
Burial practices follow these beliefs. In order to conquer the fear of death, death must not be seen as the end. Ideas of an after life, or of a person somehow coming back after death begin to develop. We see this in burials where all the earthly pleasures and needs are taken care of. For example in ancient Egypt we see servants, concubines, food, musical instruments, weapons, clothes, etc, being left with the mummified pharoah. Spells are carved into the walls, the sarcophagus, and even painted into the linens wrapped around the body. These spells protect the body, the soul and give instructions for the spirit on his quest to the other side.
http://www.sextimeandpower.com/ (Great Book about women's menstrual cycle and pregnancy shaping society and even men's attitudes toward relationships)
http://books.google.com/books/about/The_Goddesses_and_Gods_of_Old_Europe_650.html?id=zKFFOoPlyjIC (Another classic powerful book on the archeological evidence of matriarchal societies and the transition to patriarchal dominance)
So religion came into existence to explain why the world is as it is. Religions explain the creation of the world, man's place in it, and give man a sense of partnership with the forces that shape the world and his own survival. Ritual is a way for man to try to manipulate nature. It became so essential to mankind because it defines one's tribe. A tribe has the same rituals, manner of dress, modes of speech, cyclical patterns and behaviors governed by those patterns. You know who you are by the tribe you ally yourself to. You know who doesn't belong in the same way. Besides age and sex, this element became part of the earliest sense of self-definition of a human being: name, age, gender, tribal affiliation.
Why do different societies war with each other?
When societies came in contact with each other they found their rituals, languages, clothing, and names of gods were not the same. As a result of this contact with each other they became nervous. This is where the crux of the matter of our problem evolves. When these people confronted differences in others, they couldn't predict the behavior of these other groups. They were too different. From this inability to know what the other would do in any situation, came fear of each other. Specifically they feared violence, death, and theft of resources.
If the two societies that are so different could not agree on a set of rules to keep their relationship friendly, then war would often follow. That fear would lead to violence. I guess they may have thought that if they struck first they could save themselves, and this other evil group would be destroyed so any other society they might have come across would be spared as well. We see this in some modern propaganda where the other group is labeled immoral, evil and set on the destruction of our pure and moral society. Religious fanatics often use this argument against atheists and anyone who supports free will and a secular legal system.
How did social laws evolve? Why are laws different everywhere?
The friendly group would lay down laws to govern how people treat each other. These laws became the social contract of the society. In some cases severe punishments were visited upon those that acted in anti-social ways. What constitutes anti-social was highly relative to the society in question.
For some societies like Greece, homosexuality was tolerated and even endorsed. Some philosophers believed wasting one's seed on a woman was deadly to a man's sanity. A waste by itself at best. Other societies would punish homosexuality with torture and/or death. Some societies didn't even have a word for such a thing, it had not been publicly brought up.
The Chosen Ones?
The success of a society over another was often called God's Gift or Favor. It was believed that their god was stronger than the other group's and therefore enabled the victory. In the past few millenia, groups have claimed that the other god doesn't even exist, or is actually an evil deity or demon. Those people have been misled by evil and must be rehabilitated or converted to save their souls.
The truth to why some societies are successful and generate invention, technology and massive food production is actually tied up in geographic luck. It has nothing to do with gods or even necessarily intelligence. If you happen to be born in an area of the world with large spaces of good farm land that can support thousands of varieties of crops, animals and insect life, it's only a matter of time before you domesticate those resources and a small number of people become food producers while others have the luxury of free time to pursue art, invention, music, government, academia and eventually exploration and conquest.
Western Europe was one such perfect breeding ground for such success. The area now known as China was another fantastic place for agriculture, plant and animal diversity and thus invention and art. Really good book on this: Guns, Germs and Steel
http://www.pbs.org/gunsgermssteel/ (There's a book and a documentary)
(Summary so far: Humans developed religion to explain cycles of nature, to help them try to manipulate nature for their benefit and eventually created social roles around these beliefs. Not to mention to dispell fear of death. When they came across people who were different they attacked out of fear or created strict rules governing behavior in order to get control of their fear of each other. Fear leads to violence and destruction.
Eventually the cart was placed before the horse. The same beliefs that unified a society enabling working together so they could evolve and invent and explore other worlds, became the justification for their success. Actually it was luck combined with intelligence that created powerful societies, not god.)
How does religion affect us today? Why is it still such a sensitive issue?
So what we have now is religion as the remnant of an old tradition that enabled us as a group to identify members of our tribe. Tribal members, people who we take for granted are safe and follow the same set of rules, are accepted. Outsiders are still pressured to convert or are attacked. We use this same mentality toward politics, education, even simple interest groups we are involved in.
Human beings value their own lives and the lives of those they love. As such they seek communities where they feel safe. They define that feeling of safety as groups of people they have stuff in common with. Laws support that sense of safety, and historically this has included segregation in America. We are still segregated economically. In some places, like Northern Ireland, segregation is still used to try to prevent violence. When the laws fail or are not equally enforced, people become afraid and vigilantism rocks the community. People start to hide, leave, and economies and governments fall often into war. War is what kills, encourages others to be aggressive and destructive and to annihilate the lives of the "others".
So the root of all evil is not religion. Religion is a manifestation of a human being's emotional need to belong to a group where they feel safe. It's the fear that motivated that need to belong that brings about violence. Fear of difference, fear of unpredictable behavior from the foreign tribe, fear that the different tribe is going to take your stuff including your life, is what brings about war. War is a violent attempt to control the behavior of others. Do as we say or your life is forfeit.
Control of others motivated by fear of differences is the rallying sentiment behind abortion clinic bombings, terrorist attacks, genocide, persecutions of all types and women in particular. For some reason men and even women are terrified of other women expressing themselves sexually and controlling their reproduction. I really don't know what is bug up their butt. All I can say is maybe the answer is in The Handmaid's Tale or some other female exploration of dystopic societies in fiction.
So Fear is the root of all evil. It leads to aggression, an attempt to control other's behaviors in order to make them predictable and thus safe. Or dead. Dead works too.
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