Gift Giver

You seemed surprised when I made a request
Pleased and startled

I want to be stronger
You nodded as if to say, "That's easy. Done."
What do I mean by stronger?
I mean steadier
No more wild swings of emotion
Overcome the fear that paralyzes me
Budget my time more evenly

Ideas in my head flow faster than I can "hear"
I feel like some pieces have already been stripped away
Caffeine, alcohol, processed foods

And I know it's not all You
But You encourage and cheer
You seem happy when I ask You for things
I try to give You so much

It's as if I feel like I've started with a deficit
As if there was a debt to repay
As if I started out less than whole
And there's so much to catch up

I'm not who They told me I was
I want to be stronger
I want to be more of who I could have been
Before I started to believe Them