Priestess at the Cauldron

 I am constantly coming across stories and UPG of Loki and His family that are not always so respectful or loving. From Re-constructionists to Norse Shamans, there seems to be a continued attitude of dismissal most specifically of his second wife, Sigyn. Angrboda is easier to understand in a religion that focuses so much on warrior prowess.

I see it as a constant misunderstanding. People just not "getting it". I, as well, had a hard time processing the quiet aspect of Her nature. I've been a Feminist with a capital F since I was in my single age digits. It's hard for me growing up with the messages of the second wave to then accept a domestic and gentle figure as such a powerful Goddess. Angrboda was easier, since my upbringing involved using anger as a source of power and catalyst for evolution.

I held a blot to honor Sigyn recently. I approached with a desire to get to know who She was independent of the labels of mother, wife, caretaker. This was not an easy task as I found out. As I stared into the fire after offering libation I could feel a soft presence beside me.

She doesn't appear child like to me. One of Her most common kennings is "child bride". I often bristle when I hear it as She may have been young when She married but She didn't stay that way. Perhaps She senses this bias in me, and so She appears as a young woman with unbound hair.

The first thing I felt was an insistence on not ignoring or erasing Her connections to those She loves. As much as the drive for independence in me wants to do this thing, She does not wish it. She loves her family and takes pride in Her care of them and even the labels that connect Her to them. Wife is not said with a sneer the way it sometimes is among radical feminists. The word holds deep emotion, connection, and reverence for Her.

I started to hear some other words She felt strongly about.

Hearthfire

Endurance

Priestess at the Cauldron

Perseverence

Home Family Safety

Love

Committment

Doing what is necessary or needed

And then She tried to teach me a lesson, to help me get passed the instinctive flinch I had for the labels others ascribed to Her.

The rest is from the journal entry I wrote while in front of the fire:

"People see what they want to see. No one ever really knows all of who you are. Often they take in the first impression they have of you and they don't acknowledge or "see" the person you become, evolving over years of life through happiness and pain.

Where Loki is the loophole, the escape hatch; Sigyn is the lynchpin, the link that holds all others together. Her strength is hidden, beneath the surface. I think that is why She is misunderstood.

(I have written about our warrior focused culture before)

She is called weak because they don't understand the sacrifices made to protect those you love.

Perhaps why my mother and I didn't "see" each other. She gave up things to protect me from further harm. I never knew what her sacrifices were and I don't know what it cost her to keep that family together with all its toxicity.

I resent the kenning "child bride". She doesn't. It's simple truth. But the image others hold of Her is only that and hasn't evolved from there, the first impression.

My judgment is part of my feminist second wave training. The voice in my head that demands a more masculine sign of strength. To stand still, to stay, to resist even what we have hoped for all our lives, takes as much power as to act.

The Aesir calling to Her to abandon Him with the promise of acceptance previously withheld, like the lure of being popular in school, or getting something you have desperately craved forever. All you have to do is betray your love, your soul, your promises, your self.

So She teaches us to reject the easy road. Stay to your path. Keep your promises in the face of overwhelming temptation, not just of reward and pleasure, but of comfort and ease. She teaches us not to betray our core self just to make life easier.

This is a strength of character, a strength of heart, not just muscle."

My thoughts from today expand on these ideas further. I am reminded of all the teen movies about how a young girl sacrifices her sense of self, right and wrong, her soul sometimes, in order to win the approval of the group and become popular.

How many times have we remained silent when we saw wrong committed because of social pressure? How many times have we hidden a part of ourselves so we could be loved and accepted by our tribe? How many times have we taken the hard road and stood up for an outcast only to be outcast ourselves?

Sigyn teaches the lesson of not going along with the group. She may have been offered the acceptance and love She might have always wanted from her tribe, but in exchange She would have had to leave Loki alone in the cave and turn against Her heart's deepest values. Sacrifice Her sense of core self and all She loved for the acceptance of the group.

She said no. She chose the hard road and stood by Her husband who had become or had always been an outcast. She was the spirit of that teenage girl who stood up against the popular bullies and showed them who they really were, rather than become one of them and do the easy thing.

99% of the planet fails in this task at least once in their lives. We give in to easiness, to acceptance, to the love of a romantic partner, and in exchange a little piece of us dies from neglect and erasure.

One of the kennings that has been echoing in my mind all week is Priestess at the Cauldron.

We use fire to purify, to burn away that which is dead, old and of no more use. We also burn offerings in the fire to the Gods. If Loki is the fire, then the three stones He was bound to act as a tripod to hold aloft the cauldron, and Sigyn is the priestess stirring the chemical reaction, the Incantation Fetter.

Her work is one of transformation. To reject that which is not of true value in exchange for something of immortal value. Our soul and spiritual evolution will outlive the opinions of the tribe.